Every people on earth would probably be living for something. Their goals, achievements, past, future, present and another more either acceptable or unacceptable reasons are why people are even living on this world. But I came to doubt what am I living by and my answer was that I was living for the duty not because I really want to. I can't even kill myself because I know that I can live like this because of the very slim chance, which the probability is even less than thousand billions to one. I'm living a way better life than the majority of the people in Africa and if I die, that would be too selfish. I think even this kind of thought that I want to die is already deserves a criticism for those other people. But what is life without any purpose and living not for myself but others? I am not satisfied with my life and I can't even fully fulfill my duty. If I was fulfilling my duty which I was living for, I would be the happiest man on earth because i have reached the purpose of my life but now I finally realize that a person that can fulfill my duty was a god. Almighty and all-knowing god can fulfill any tasks and do anything. I am not a god but just a mere human with too many flaws and my death wouldn't even be that evident in the world. Then why did I come through all those slim chances? Nothing is impossible? Well, fuck that. No one can be a god even after the end of time, no one can be god. And me... what am I? Do I have power to influence people? Do I have the knowledge or the means to work the world? The answers are no. Clearly no. It really sounds pathetic myself but it really is how the shit has been going for so long.
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