why do i care?

I don't give a damn about everything now.
well, at least for now.
because i know that I move on impulse rather than logic and long term planning.
but I've got a question. why should I care?
And most importantly, why do you care?

My short long boring break

i think i just wasted my vacation by just sleeping and playing games. I should have studied just a bit. But i didn't my vacation is full of regrets.

First quarter - remembering the days

My first quarter, to be honest, was a life of a party. I didn't even study a lot, and played computer games until sunrise from midnight. Well, I guess i should thank some guy i know for teaching me grade 11 math that i don't need to worry about math for a long time. However, others will ask me what about other subjects... well, than i should say that i have been listening during the class or during summer class. Basically, seeing my actions, i should be getting a very lazy grade, but i made it to the one of the top during the first quarter. And i know i'm better than this.

Greek mythology- my favorite god is....

We've been studying Greek mythology for like 2 weeks. The myth was interesting and origin was somehow similar to the one of the bible. And in my personal opinion, the greatest god of all time is Hades. Hades is a god of the underworld who... kinda... made... the... daughter... of Zeus.... as his... ummm....love slave(?). However, the thing is that the god of underworld is really an interesting and complicated job. He who became a god of underworld can't go up to Mt. Olympus and stay near Tartarus where so many brutal Titans are locked. Since he should stop the riot of the dead souls, he must be strong, which is why I like him. Besides strength, he is also cunning. He once saw a mortal who tried to take Persephone(his wife), but Hades used his tricks so that they will learn their lesson in their chair of oblivion. Hades is told to be ruthless and very strong, but to think that he even kidnapped Persephone because he loved her, is that he can also feel something warm. Hades is my favorite god and i want to say 'Go  Jerry' so that he will do his role well.

Why?

The word why is used frequently in this world right now. In Science, they ask why the certain thing happen. In Math, they ask why this is true. In English, why is important part of writing and speaking as well. Therefore the word why is very essential to the world that we live in. However, I ask myself why do I have to live at all? Come to think of it, I don't have to because I haven't a single reason to live at all and never had one before. So am I living by another person? The answer is no. Why do I have to care for other people when it's so hard to even take care of myself and they don't care about me neither. Now, I have a clear thought in my mind. I don't have to live, but I ask why to myself again. Why must I die? Well, it's not a must, it's a option. I don't have to live, but I mustn't die. But this statement contradicts. Wait... Why am I writing this anyways? Why am I suddenly saying of this bullcraps? The reason is simple. I just want to die. I feel very depressed. I feel extremely lonely. No one beside me is what suits me perfectly. What I have realized up to this day is that I am a walking trash that breathes Carbon Dioxide as I speak and live. If someone would kill me, i would gladly take it as a gift. Well, the thing is that when someone wants something desperately, that something will never come to that person. Since I want death so desperately, I won't be dead so easily...
















































if ever there is a god... please. let me die...