Finding peace

I've been wondering what could possibly be the reason for my blog entry always being as short as a Dwarf. Perhaps my synapse had acted negligibly for my whole life or other possibilities are probably me being lazy, or just there's nothing I can possibly write on my blog. So I see other's blog and see what they write. I've started off with Korean blog but their entries are just like 2 or 3 lines and they are just about silly things. I've then tried some English blogs and some of them are quite colorful and long. Their entries were mostly about their lives, or about the troubles of people who they care about and convince the readers to give sympathy on those people and lot more but I think I could make my point. It was simply personal things. Other things that I don't know are that one, I also write personal stuffs, and two, my blog is quite colorful(I think). But I came to more questions such as, why am I even asking these questions? Who cares if I write a short or long blogs? Why do I even care to write these things? What is all these bullshits? Why do I have to think about all these? Why the hell do I have to keep worrying? Why in the goddamn world should I pay my damn attention to anything at all? Why am I asking for reasons for everything? Why do I ask even though I know that somethings are better left unknown? Why do I even live? What purpose do I serve in this world? I have so many questions left but I think I've made my point clear. I keep thinking and worrying even though I know that thinking about those things are meaningless. Also I have come to notice that the number of things to think has been mushrooming ever since I came to this stinking shit hole. This damned country, the whole world seems like my nemesis and this is just basically madness to think everything is going against me. I know not everything can go as I've thought as, but I really am coming to think that the world is against me, again. Or could it be me going against the will of the world? I have no idea. It's just been too hard to find any peace in me these days. I couldn't talk to anyone about my problems and I really am stressed from those non-stop studying for past few weeks and also frustrated with things that I question and this unknown emotion that I feel. Peace in my mind seems so far away from reality. If this keeps on going, I'll become crazy, or become lost again. Help... If this is too much,then you may ignore this whole thing and pretend as if nothing happened. That's what people do right? Forgetting things or pretend as if they don't know a thing...