selfishness

All the people in the world have their own selfishness. Selfishness for themselves or selfishness for other people, whom they care about. However, some selfish people can be really disgusting and grotesque at times. The kind of selfishness that I'm trying to make is not only based on material needs but also emotional and mental. I see this world right now really stupid and wonder if this is really happening or what the hell is wrong with the bastards. I have already come to realize that survival is an instinct where the strong eats the weak. In this sense, the concept of justice is no more than an irony that goes against human instinct. What a bad joke. It was always ironic to say that morality was the highest value that humans can have. How can we go against our own instinct? The point I'm trying to make is that humans are such dirty creatures that only seeks its own survival and selfishness is their primary weapon used during this fight for survival.

Finding peace

I've been wondering what could possibly be the reason for my blog entry always being as short as a Dwarf. Perhaps my synapse had acted negligibly for my whole life or other possibilities are probably me being lazy, or just there's nothing I can possibly write on my blog. So I see other's blog and see what they write. I've started off with Korean blog but their entries are just like 2 or 3 lines and they are just about silly things. I've then tried some English blogs and some of them are quite colorful and long. Their entries were mostly about their lives, or about the troubles of people who they care about and convince the readers to give sympathy on those people and lot more but I think I could make my point. It was simply personal things. Other things that I don't know are that one, I also write personal stuffs, and two, my blog is quite colorful(I think). But I came to more questions such as, why am I even asking these questions? Who cares if I write a short or long blogs? Why do I even care to write these things? What is all these bullshits? Why do I have to think about all these? Why the hell do I have to keep worrying? Why in the goddamn world should I pay my damn attention to anything at all? Why am I asking for reasons for everything? Why do I ask even though I know that somethings are better left unknown? Why do I even live? What purpose do I serve in this world? I have so many questions left but I think I've made my point clear. I keep thinking and worrying even though I know that thinking about those things are meaningless. Also I have come to notice that the number of things to think has been mushrooming ever since I came to this stinking shit hole. This damned country, the whole world seems like my nemesis and this is just basically madness to think everything is going against me. I know not everything can go as I've thought as, but I really am coming to think that the world is against me, again. Or could it be me going against the will of the world? I have no idea. It's just been too hard to find any peace in me these days. I couldn't talk to anyone about my problems and I really am stressed from those non-stop studying for past few weeks and also frustrated with things that I question and this unknown emotion that I feel. Peace in my mind seems so far away from reality. If this keeps on going, I'll become crazy, or become lost again. Help... If this is too much,then you may ignore this whole thing and pretend as if nothing happened. That's what people do right? Forgetting things or pretend as if they don't know a thing... 

Vacation, almost over!

Summer vacation is coming to an end. But it almost seems like I had no vacation at all... Going to Korea was one thing I hoped it to be relaxing, but went there to just study all day long while others were playing 'Diablo 3'. And again came back here to this bloody third world country and studied again while others are lying down on a couch relaxing as the summer breeze passed. Damn... Well, they never said I would have relaxation during vacation so I guess I can't complain...

It's been quite a while eh?

It's truly been quite a while since the time I last updated my blog. Yes, I've been to Korea, my mother nation and a place where I didn't want to go. I've been to Korea to get some upgrades. For your information, the term upgrade means the upgrade in my intellect. Now my goal until 2013 January is to be a being of pure intellect and knowledge. Back to the original idea. I was too busy to write my blog ever since I've gone to Korea, my mother nation. I had to prepare myself for TOEFL, and the upcoming chemistry challenge which really doesn't interest me a lot. I really have to study now people. Don't wish me luck because luck is one of the skill that one must acquire and also don't pray for me because I will do much less if you pray for me. Until next time then

Someone please just shoot a bullet straight through my brain

Sometimes I don't understand why I even live. I don't want  anything... I think... I desire not really much of anything. I don't really have to live anymore... I don't want anything... I want nothing and yet I say no to death. That's my current situation. I've built up so much for just dying. If I die, I will leave so many things behind. My responsibilities, my everything that has been around me. I do not possess things. They are just there... Around me. I just want to let it all go. I was concerned about the things that I am going to leave behind, but now I don't care anymore... Just shoot a bullet straight through my brain that way I will not live anymore. The reason why people are afraid of dying is because they are afraid of leaving things that they've built until now and another reason is that they are afraid of what will happen to their consciousness once they are dead or whether they will go to heaven and prosper or go to hell and live in torment again. But please, I don't believe in afterlife. Just fucking shoot me or I shoot you.

The flying chance

Over many generations, humans wanted to fly. Then, only a century ago, humans were able to build a flying machine that could fly by itself. Of course there were many flying machine attempts but they were not self-sustaining and needed and external help such as hot air to lift the machine. or a wind that could carry the machine to certain direction. But I sometimes wish humans develop wings on their back to fly freely around. It will be hard but I think it is worth it. If they couldn't develop a pair of wings by ourselves, then the help of biology will help us get them. So Jerry! Give me a pair of Wings when you become a Biology major!

Last chance... no not really

It's finally the final exam tomorrow. It really is going to suck ass if it was really hard but at least it will pull up my grades... no not really. Actually the things that pulls my grade up is those damn projects and homework. It is like 60 percent of overall points. I really don't like it. Then why do we give a damn about the damn quarter exam? of course it gives highest score among the other stuffs that is considered as grades. They are like 30 percent of everything in one shot. You know what they say about life. Life is a single shot. It takes only a single shot to succeed and screw in life. I guess the school is the place that teaches us that very directly.

going back to korea

Why do I have to go to Korea ah! I don't want to go to that hell where people tell me to study all day long and where there's no fun things to do! I seldom, very few a time, get what I want. I really don't want to go there... It is my home country and place where I was born, but I think I deserve a little... I mean a lot of rests for my hard works and stuff. Going back to Korea would mean vacation for other koreans but it is just studying in hell.

Pictures and Fieldtrip

These are some of the pictures taken during the field trip. It seems like we had our fun and stuff.... well in the last picture, my hand looks like a pack-man! HAHAHA... give me more food John!!!

Final quarterly exam

It's finally over! It's already time to answer all the quarterly exam and leave the school for next 2 months! Holy shit this year was such hell. I think I will just take the exam, get my report card and take my leave. Final quarterly exam... fuck ya! HAHAHA!!!!

What if the Zombies had intelligence?

If zombies had intelligence, it would cause a lot of trouble... First, they would not accept normal food that non-zombified people would eat but they would rather crave for human flesh because their body's already turned in to monsters that eats human. More, when they are to be subjected by laws, they are not considered humans, literally because they are now known as the zombies. They have to make all new laws for zombies and some conditions to control their actions and that will certainly take some times. Also, there's going to be a racism between humans and zombies. Try to imagine people with no faces, or jaw completely taken out, or their intestines almost coming out of their stomach will walk around the streets, dripping bloods all around the streets and there will be people vomiting on the streets. I think I would really want to stay away from those kind of people. However, since zombies have intelligence, they will be revolting against the discriminating government and people. Some countries, such as Russia will use some violent police force to drive them out of the country or segregate them in a closed area. At first, they will act as if they are going to take care of the zombies but as time goes by, people will make a decision that zombies are a pest to the society and make false information that are entirely discriminating and real falsified record which doesn't really exist or totally exaggerated. Of course zombies will make some troubles even if they have the intelligence but isn't this action just like killing of Jews during the second world war in the concentration camp? Think about it. Haven't humans been doing this shit for centuries to hide their incompleteness? Especially the Christians will say zombies are an abomination, they are unholy, blasphemy blah blah blah blah blah blah. Their religion talks about those stuffs about only god being the almighty and only Jesus had the power to be brought back to life and stuff. Well that really is getting on my nerves and now I have to go because I'm about to be zombified by the pressure of the quarter exam.

indoctrination, education...

To indoctrinate means the same thing as to educate in literal meaning but indoctrination has a behind meaning that is the closest in meaning with brainwashing people with another, mostly false, information. It differs with education because education is really far from brainwashing people. To education is seeking for facts and truths, and what is not. While indoctrination is influencing people to believe in facts that are backed up only with opinions. That's what the internet had to say about the difference between indoctrination and education. Yes I do agree with this idea and indoctrination is bad. Hitler used it to make people believe that Jew is a race with pseudo-scientific research. The whole Germany became racists and the whole concentration camp and ghetto shit came to existence. Indoctrination is meaningless if someone is looking for truths and facts. 

Child taught to obey or conform... Is it really that important? Humans are made to break the rules and change them to make the world better or worse. The nature of human being is that they can never absolutely follow the rule or law. We always strive for comfort and break the rules. The reason why the rules are made was to bring comfort and order in the society. People should learn to follow these rules so that the society will remain peaceful. But has the world been ever at peace? Numbers, numbers, numbers... These are the things that brought idea of order and chaos. Some, people like Niccolo Machiavelli or other Chinese philosophers that I know in Korean but do not know how English says it, says that laws set by humans must always be absolutely processed even using brute force if necessary. This is called the blind obedience. Anything human made is imperfect and law and constitutions are also made by humans which is not perfect as well. That means that at least one of the laws will create chaos that they never meant to create or some people will find a way around it. Obedience is necessary only if it's reasonable and tolerable to society. Following the law unquestioningly will always cause problems. The same goes for those Nazi soldiers and supporters. Following the rule blindingly like a goddamn machine... They have no heart they have no mercy for Jewish life... If they were humans, they should at least think once in their life the value of every life on Earth. The rule tells them to kill and they kill. How pathetic and despicable.

meaningless

Meaningless they are. The things that we live for is meaningless to some others. Very unpleasant this is. To be ignored the values of life. unpleasant and very disappointing indeed. Yes perhaps I have ignored some people's value of life. I would deeply regret that and if I were to list down everything that I regret would cost me a life. Abandoned, meaningless things are. Does it mean that regrets must be abandoned as well? People say that regretting is meaningless and look forward to a brighter future. How could one possibly want a bright future when his life is full of regrets and depression? He has lost the value to his life and is standing at the edge of the cliff and wants to break his own body. He has lost the will to turn back and go to the other way for the mountain top where no one has yet to come back to tell what's up on the mountain. He can not stop. Stopping has become meaningless to everybody's thoughts and everybody's thought has polluted his thoughts as well. Everyone is pushing him to move forward without knowing where he's headed. He will fall off the cliff and be free from the manacles of life that has tortured him for so many years. However the freedom has become meaningless to this man and so did moving on with the shackles. He thinks and thinks again for what is a thing that is meaningful but he can not find any. Ah what have we done? We have killed him at last. His head broken down into pieces by the boulders of memories and heart torn apart by regrets of his life. Oh how I  remember what he used to tell me.

"The life will also be the death of me."

Science is fun, but there are some factors that makes it bad

Science... Of course there are many things that could be called as part of the science, however what I'm talking about is natural science and more specifically, chemistry. Chemistry, when children hear the word chemistry, they imagine the science lab with so many dangerous chemicals. However chemistry is not always related to bubbling chemicals but solving and balancing chemical equations that doesn't make sense if put in the sense of mathematics. It really is a damn shit if the teacher is not teaching his/her students properly. Well that's what really is happening in my world of science. What about you?

"Educational" Field Trip

The "Educational" Field Trip was fun and educational. The students learned that the wall climbing was nothing but a simple thing. They just had to listen to the instructors which they were not capable of during that time. They had also learned the ways in how to throw people in to the water with force. The student did not need any instructors to teach them how to throw a person into the water. However this "educational" field trip was not such a disaster and it was, said by many others and based on the analysis of the satisfaction level of the students, great and would want this kind of thing once again. Well I was hoping much of the same thing that made my endothermic body temperature to lower, and caught a cold that had also distracted me from the musical beats and rhythms. Oh how I would love to go to field trip again.

Irony

In life, there are so many ironies. So many that I can't list them all. For example, breathing is easiest thing to do but it is the most essential process in the human body system to sustain life. Well, I really have to stop writing fancy and this is also an irony too. I plan to do it, but I don't. Today, I'm going to talk about the irony behind studying which everyone who lives in our world feels very boring and uninteresting. First, they say studying is a very easy task, however they also say that studying is also very hard task to do which really makes one feel really exhausted and wasted. It really is not making sense. How is it easy when it is making people feel very exhausted and wasted? Or maybe I'm just not in the modern world yet.Will Someone please tell me when easy became the new hard? Of course for me studying is really hard task and it's never been easy. They say that studying hard will make the future life very enjoyable and yet they tell us to enjoy the life. Maybe it means that enjoy life as in general which makes the present life very boring and annoying and make the future life very enjoyable that the boredom which I took before will be way less than the future fun. In other words, take 50 boredom now and take more than just 50 fun in the future so that you can say that you've "generally" enjoyed your life. How could I say I enjoyed it when supposedly the best part of my life has become the worst, boring part of my life? I doubt that I'd say I enjoyed my life if I lived like that doing nothing but studying for the rest of my childhood and adolescence. The irony in studying is really countless and I'd love to not hear the rest of them.

Prom

Last April 19Th 2012, at Acacia hotel, MIT held their third Junior Senior Promenade with the theme of 'Amplified'. The hotel was very nice, enough to fit everyone and having a very nice lighting was most admirable. There was a very little irony there with the theme of the promenade and the sound systems. They had a very bad amplifier that made a very strange sounds and the grade 9's performance was very funny and not very amplified in terms of sounds. Well let's cut this stupid critical bullshit. I think the prom went really well and it was a moment to keep for ourselves. I really do not understand why John was so disappointed about this prom but I could have actually seen that the SCB really put their effort in to it. I am so looking forward to next prom.

The sixth sense

We humans have five senses in general. The sense of smell, the sense of taste, the sense of sight, the sense of touch, the sense of hearing. These senses are all very essential to the life of every human being in the world. Imagine yourself not acquiring one of the senses. It is very disturbing indeed. However, in order for someone to become a individual in the society and finally be acknowledged as a person, we need the sixth sense. The sixth sense is called as the common sense. Of course, this is very obvious and in what way genius because we never thought of the sixth sense this way. By the impact of the movie, the sixth sense, we think of the sixth sense as the senses that can spot ghosts or something supernatural. However, there are lots of other senses in the world we might also need in order to survive this world. One example is humor sense which I failed to obtain. I think the people should be very much aware of these senses and put uses in to them because some people does not have one such as Tom Noh in 9B class of MITIS.

Tips on what to do when you are home alone

These are the tips on what you may do to relinquish your boredom when you are at home alone.

Tip 1. After coming finishing School, do your homework right away.
Tip 2. Do not turn on your computer or laptop until your work is done
Tip 3. After finishing your homework, try not to sleep unless you are a college student.
Tip 4. If ever you are a college student, tips I'm giving you is not applicable. So I recommend you just get out of this blog right now.
Tip 5. If ever you are an adult with a job , you don't need this shit so press the x mark on the upper right part of your desktop.
Tip 6. Look at your room
Tip 7. If messy, clean it. Now
Tip 8. When you are done cleaning your room, clean the whole house.
Tip 9. When you are done with cleaning your house, do not grab a cigarette and smoke but try the shower.
Tip 10. It will be about dinner after doing all those stuffs so eat. You can't cook like your mother can, so get out of the house and buy something to eat. You don't have some money with you? It's okay. Just go over to your friend's house and have dinner with them. But you must get your friend's permission first.
Tip 11. Try to play with your friend. If he or she is not done with the homework, show yours.
Tip 12. Go back to your house by 9 O'clock.
Tip 13. Now, turn on your computer and play games.
Tip 14. If you are not into playing games, just go in front of the TV, and watch some news, dramas, or anything that will please you.
Tip 15. If you are not also pleased by watching TV, the last option is that you go out of your house again and run around your village until you are totally exhausted.
Tip 16. It will be almost time for you to go to bed by then. So now you sleep.

(as mentioned at Tip 4 and 5, Adults and college students are not affected by doing these tips and you know it very well yourself and if you have read through everything, then it's either you are a jobless adult or Ms.Mae)

These tips comes from my own experience of self living.
good night people!

Prom!!!

Prom is on next week Thursday... Already!

I knew that starting this year I'm going to experience it and I thought I would be kinda ready for it or something but I was most definitely wrong. I don't have a date and worse, I don't even have a suit. I'd better start looking for one and I can't afford to have any date neither in school nor out school. It would be a waste of money if I didn't go there at all and what else can I do there?